Good afternoon ladies and gents! It’s Monday so that means it is time for another EPIC Manly Monday post by me, B. Things are pretty awesome for me right now. I’ve got a full bag of Fritos, a tub of tahini sauce, and an amazing lady – Life Is Good. Sure I’m still unemployed and selling my body to the medical community, but that’s little stuff. The important stuff is good and that’s what matters. How you doin?
The boys’ desire to watch music videos has dwindled lately…THANK GOD! I love watching them smile and dance, but constant Muppet and Twisted Sister videos are enough to drive anyone to the edge of insanity!
In other news….IT’S POTTY TIME!
I posted this picture on Facebook and had a friend comment “Why would you post this?” My response was this…”The first attempts of independently taking care of ones bodily excretions is cause for celebration. This signals the end of having to look at another person’s feces, smell another person’s feces, and discard another person’s feces…truly a magical moment that needs to be captured and savored.”
I never knew how exciting potty training could be until I spent some time around a 2-year-old pooping machine.
Let’s talk about something that has come to have a very special place in my heart (and my gut)- Veggie Burgers. I know what many of you are thinking…”It’s not really a burger if it doesn’t have meat” and to that I retort that squash is the color yellow, yet it is the bravest of all vegetables. I know what you’re thinking now, “that makes no sense”, and you’re right. Back to the Veggie Burgers! I admit it took me a little while to come around to the veggie burg. (Yes, I abbreviated burger to burg.) I went into the experience expecting it to taste and feel like a Quarter Pounder with Cheese from the evil golden arches, and this is not the correct approach. You see, a veggie burg is more than some two-dollar floozy burger you pick up after a long night of drinking. A veggie burg is complex and sophisticated. It has layers of ingredients and wants you to explore each of them one by one, not just be shoveled into your mouth as fast as possible. You can’t hold a veggie burg like you do your typical burger. A typical burger can be tossed around, squeezed and poked and remain in its normal hockey puck shape; a veggie burg is more delicate than that (because it’s real food, not some pressed-into-shape burger with fillers and binding agents). You have to gently caress the veggie burg, you must cradle it in your hands like a a baby duck that has lost it’s mother….yes, the veggie burg requires more attention, but the reward you get is TOTALLY worth it. I have compiled a list of my Top 3 favorite veggies burgs…
#1. Mama Pea’s “Cheese”-stuffed Bean Burgers. This burger tastes exactly like an all-American burger. I had mine with a little lettuce, mayo and ketchup and couldn’t get enough. This was truly like eating a Quarter Ponder with Cheese from the golden arches, just without the paper wrapper and puddle of grease!
#2. Vegan Diner’s Quinoa Burgers. This is the veggie burg I just had on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. That’s right, three times in three days! Word cannot express how amazing this burger was. It was soft and hearty at they same time, and with just a little hot sauce went from EPIC to ORGASMIC!
#3. Jenna’s Falafel Burgers. These are the burgs that opened my eyes and heart to the joys of tahini sauce. These were sturdy little patties that stood up to my ravenous attack on them. We had them when S’s friend M came over one night and we all agreed that we had to remove the chain, because these falafel burgers were off it!
Do I still crave a ground beef burger from time to time? Yes. Am I now craving veggie burgers on a regular basis? OH HELL YEAH! Not once after eating one of these burgers did I ever say to myself “I wish that was a ground beef hamburger”. I usually say to myself “Wow, that was a great burger and I’m stuffed, but I don’t feel like I’m pregnant with a greasy baby”. I still eat regular burgers occasionally, but I eat veggie burgs on the reg! (see how I abbreviated two words there? Burger and regular became burg and reg…that’s how cool I am)
Now I am ready to vent about me and S’s trip to Mellow Mushroom Saturday night. I don’t need to vent about the food, it was spectacular…the service, on the other hand, was not so good. We showed up at around 8p.m. and the place was poppin. We head to the hostess stand and inform her that we are a party of 2, and she indicated it will be about 35-40 minutes. So we head to the bar to pass the time and then we notice something….empty tables. At least 4-5 empty tables. Why the hell are we having to wait when there are empty tables? Sometimes I have little faith in the competence of the host/hostess at restaurants. I know it’s a difficult job to find places for people to sit at a restaurant- it’s right next to brain surgery and being an air traffic controller. So we finally get our table and we meet our waiter. It started off well; he seemed to have the normal brain function that you would expect from a fellow human being. He didn’t even need to write down our order, and I thought this was a good sign. I thought maybe he was such a seasoned pro that he didn’t even need to write anything down. 20 minutes and a still absent hummus appetizer later, we learned he had forgotten to put in our order. At this point me and S are trying to figure out what he is high on. My guess = peyote and NyQuil. He did apologize, and once the delicious hummus was brought to us his transgression was forgiven. We will def eat there again, but maybe we will get our order to go next time.
Of course since it is Manly Monday that means pictures of Tobasaurus. Toby has hit a rough patch here lately. His stocks have plummeted and he has been worried about his retirement plan…
I’m trying to get him to go back to AA.
Until next time….HOLLA HOLLA!